Who Comes Up With These Things?
by Red Witch
Summary: Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! Scott just doesn't get it.


**Argh! Yo ho me hearties! This be the disclaimer saying that I get no booty for any X-Men Evolution characters. This just be the mad ramblings of an old sea hag spinning tales from the storm of her mad mind! Argh! **

**Who Comes Up With These Things?**

"Just what I want to see first thing in the morning," Scott groaned. "The Brotherhood dressed like pirates."

And there were the Brotherhood, all of them dressed like pirates.

"Argh! Me hearty!" Fred growled. "Lower yer booms and show yer colors, this be a friendly visit!"

"Aye!" Lance waved a plastic sword. "We be here to drink yer finest ale and scarf down yer best donuts!"

"Permission to come aboard and swap tales of daring bravery!" Todd said.

"Or in Toad's case, the time he wet himself in the girls lavatory," Pietro snickered in a pirate accent.

"That sink was booby trapped!" Todd snapped. "And ye know it!"

"Shut yer traps or else I'll keelhaul the lot of ye!" Wanda snapped. She too was dressed as a pirate with a red captain's uniform and a large pirate hat with a red feather.

"Okay I can understand these idiots doing this but why **you** Wanda?" Scott asked. "You're the only sane one in this group. And believe me that is an achievement."

"Simple, they promised I'd be the captain and swore undying loyalty to me," Wanda grinned.

"Of course," Scott sighed. "In other words you and your scurvy little friends are going to be in the Land of Make Believe today?"

"Aye," Pyro grinned. Unfortunately he had two eye patches on his eyes. "Can ye point me to the little pirates' room?"

"Pyro you fool! I told ye yer only supposed to have **one** eye patch!" Lance snapped. "Take it off!"

"Spoil sport," Pyro took off one eye patch. "Hey! That's better!"

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you people look?" Scott asked. "Why are you doing this?"

"It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!" Lance spoke. "Arrrrrr!"

"You mean International Look Like an Idiot Day!" Scott said. "You maniacs have been looking up stupid holidays on the Internet again haven't you?"

"What be ye first clue?" Pietro smirked.

"Okay first it was all those pickles you put on our front lawn to celebrate National Pickle Month," Scott said. "Then all the date nut bread for National Date Nut Bread Day. Although I did enjoy National Crème Filled Donut Day."

"That was one of my favorites too," Fred nodded.

"And who can forget National Pet Memorial Day when we all hung around your backyard at five in the morning while Pyro was playing Taps on a bagpipe in that pet cemetery of yours?" Scott went on. "But this has gone on far enough! I know the Professor wants us to get along but this is getting out of hand!"

"Don't talk to me about hands!" Todd showed his and it had a fake hook on it. Scott grabbed it and threw it away. "HEY!"

"Okay when are you idiots ever going to grow up?" Scott asked. "When are you going to stop doing stupid stunts like this? You don't see any X-Men acting like a nutcase do you?"

That was when Hank, Kurt, Bobby, Ray, Sam, Amara, Tabitha and Roberto walked in all dressed like pirates. "Well shiver me timbers!" Hank said. "Do I see the flag of the Brotherhood! Come on in you scallywags and let's drink some diet ale! Arrgh!"

"When will I learn never to set up a straight line like that?" Scott sighed.

"What's the problem with him?" Bobby asked like a pirate.

"Ahgh! Ye know Cyclops!" Lance said as they walked away. "He's got that mainsail stuck up his backside! Arrgh!"

"Arrr! Arrr! Arrr!" The pirate mutants walked off.

"I'm trapped in a bad Saturday Night Live sketch," Scott said. "Then again they haven't had a good sketch since Mike Myers left…"

"Arrrrr…" Logan walked in.

"Oh come on Logan! I can't believe you're doing this too!" Scott snapped. "This Talk Like a Pirate Day is ridiculous!"

"Talk Like a Pirate Day? I thought it was Butterscotch Pudding Day?" Logan asked. He held up a tin with pudding in it. "Some of this stuff got stuck to the roof of my mouth. It's not bad. You want some?"

"When is it ever going to be Cyclops Gets A Break Day?" Scott groaned.


End file.
